There is always a hole in the wall

For some reason life had become too boring, don’t know exactly why. But its just that after all that is going on and what was going on from the beginning of the evolution till now, nothing is permanent. It’s like at some point we tend to loose interest on anything and everything. I don’t like the same things that I liked when I was a kid, and what I like now won’t be the same in the future. Sometime or the other, sooner or later it all comes down to lose of faith. I hate to admit and shame to say this but, sometime I even get bored of my favorite band or song. And the thought, the feeling that nothing is going to last forever and nothing makes sense forever, makes me loose interest on anything. There is always a hole in the God damn wall. Now a days this loss of hope prevents me from trying for anything new. I am just searching in life for one thing, any one thing to believe in, one thing to love so much that it hurts. And to live my life for that one thing. But always whatever it may be, in the end my dream seems so small, and I find there is a hole in the wall. No theory makes perfect sense about the evolution, nothing is solid. Where do we come from, why are we here, where will we go when our time is done, and what is that we are supposed to do as long as we are here, and why the heck do I get all these questions in my freaking mind. I don’t know, just wondering and searching for a concept that makes sense, one concept that can explain everything.

Corporate Life is so fake

It had been a while since I posted anything in my blog. Even the previous post, I didn't write it for this blog. So I thought of posting something about the current happenings in my life. Well, I am missing something, when I try to dive inside me and find what i am missing, its just the past. Past which is something we all miss in the present, and the present will be missed in future. And what differentiates the past and the present is not just one thing but many. Now I am working, and this is the stable job that I got after finishing my college. The corporate environment makes me so sick,. well I am passionate to work and also eager to learn, I love the job,.its just the job environment and people that troubles me. I figured out that people in corporates are so, so, fake. But it again is a part of corporate culture. As far as I know, as far as i've learned, fake laugh for your Boss's stupid jokes, fake enthusiasm, pretending in order to project is all part of corporate culture. I feel the corporates make you feel that they are so real,. but they are actually like the plastic plant kept inside the corporates. The plastic plant looks so real,. so natural, but they are fake to its core, that is exactly what the corporates are. I didn't mean here any particular organization, I've just shared here about how most of the corporates are today. I haven't talked in this post enough about what makes it fake, and that is something which has to be felt, perceived, or sniffed by the individuals. If you are also working for a corporate, then you already would have got a clear idea about what am talking about.

Water to the budding seed - Academy Life (Winning blog post)

The below post is the blog post i wrote about Cognizant training days.., 

Like all CATs, getting placed in Cognizant is a dream come true for me. The first day to the Academy in Siruseri with lot of expectations in mind, with sound of guitar and cello ringing in my ears, I was walking in search of the conference room. ‘Batch meeting with batch owner’, well it’s not as easy as it sounds. Kishore is our batch owner (now I guess you understood the gist), it was a knock out speech that he gave as an introduction about Cognizant and the academic process. His speech actually made me realize the importance of ‘me’ in a corporate like Cognizant. It also explained the importance of Cognizant in my career growth. And later when we went to the Academy room allocated for us, we all felt exactly the same thing what we felt when we first entered into a college. New faces, acquaintance, different places, different languages, and that was the first time I understood the importance of English (connecting people).

All the resources available in the academy website, the study materials that Cognizant gave me and sessions by Chandra, Satish Thiagarajan, Chan made me realize that I have mountains to climb. We, as a batch started to interact with each other not only with the regular yada yada stuff, but also spent more time on discussing different concepts and ideas related to our domain. But of course, we never ignored to have fun even when we were preparing for mock tests and presentations. Cognizant cultural event “Wings 2010” was a combo package of fun and team work, it also gave us an opportunity to interact with other batches. And as a batch we also had our fun moments, batch outings, evergreen memories of our academy life.

Oh, in midst of all these I forgot to mention about CTM sessions and weekly BO meetings. The CTM of our batch is Kartik, well his sessions on corporate philosophies; ethics and behavior didn’t exactly mold us. If I say they molded us, then it would sound very dramatic, in real all those CTM sessions gave us a clear idea and thought about ‘How I should be, in order to reach new heights’. BO meetings gave us a real time scenario of how the project meetings would be. It was all about requirement analysis, design, development, implementation, maintenance, and parallel with all phase, we would be testing. CTM sessions are more about character, behavior and attitude. BO sessions are more about process, operation, review. Both played an equally important role in shaping us as a better employee for Cognizant.

As a batch, we too had our tough times. Even though we were working hard to cope up, to thrive, to stand ahead, and to shine, things were not working out well for us in the beginning. We were desperate to prove our potential and that’s when the Dizplay (Technical – class notice board decoration event) event was announced. Previously we were more concerned about functional activities like module tests, mock tests and more of technical stuff. But understanding the importance of non-functional things like extra-curricular activities, we took Dizplay very serious in order to show out talent. We stayed in the evenings, used our spare time, in brainstorming, working on our good ideas. And all the team work paid off in the form of success in the Dizplay event. We won the first place, and it was like India winning 20-20 world cup.

Finally with all the experience, different things we went through in academy training were like ‘Butterfly effect’. The experience in the initial condition (Academy training), which would have a major difference in the future (after getting deployed in project). All of us in academy are like coins, cut from a sheet metal, rimmed, beveled and pressed into coins. That’s how we were molded in the academy, that’s what added value and respect to us to move into Business units. My Academy life, on the whole, it was water to my seed (career) that was planted in the soil (Cognizant).

Secondhand Serenade - It's not over

My tears run down like razorblades
And no, I'm not the one to blame
It's you ' or is it me?
And all the words we never say
Come out and now we're all ashamed
And there's no sense in playing games
When you've done all you can do

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
But it's over

I lose myself in all these fights
I lose my sense of wrong and right
I cry, I cry
It's shaking from the pain that's in my head
I just wanna crawl into my bed
And throw away the life I led
But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

It's not over, it's not over, it's never over
Unless you let it take you
It's not over, it's not over, it's not over
Unless you let it break you
It's not over

Its my pursuit of happiness

It all started in college, like all engineering students I too had a dream of getting placed in a big concern, well only thing missing was the utilization of potential. Its always hard to see people get too much of things which you can only imagine. After college I joined a small start up company and things were going fine until one day I figured out the “whole in the wall”, at some point its obvious that we all come to know the truth. The truth I realized was, well I realized that I turned out to be a complete loser. So I quit the web designer job which I was working as in that start up concern.

Then I was searching for job again. Oh boy, walking down to all the companies with expectation and dream, but walking back home with a long face. I was selected in companies which were asking me to pay for training. And the companies which were ready to provide me a real job where BPO’s. There wasn’t much of companies hiring due to recession, sadly in my time. So I was practicing mock interviews with myself. Then I found out that I wasn’t too genius, ( and the little guy inside me was asking me tech interview questions, I wasn’t doing good). As days passed I was forced to get some job. So I joined HCL Bpo, and I was told while joining that I could move to HCL software soon from BPO. Believing that, I joined them and worked for their client AT&T as a Tech support officer. After 4months of job I thought to myself, “man, could I be more loser?”

Leaving that BPO job again I started my long road of job hunting. And between, have any of you experienced how it feels to stay at home while your dad goes to office everyday? Its like trying to stay calm while wearing a pant full of ants. Then I reduced my expectations and I was looking for some software company to gain experience without caring about salary. Too many interviews, too many companies, too many failures. Lost hope in life, leaving a permanent sadness, the worst part was I felt that I am getting old without a job. Sometime I wondered whether I'd die without a job, even had nightmares in my sleep on this issue. As things were going on in this kind of way, I received an email from Cognizant saying that they were hiring and they sent me a hall ticket for attending their aptitude test. Not much of a good news, cause after all I went through, I felt, “well yeah, another interview”. Seriously I never was good with aptitude tests to be honest, and this aptitude test of cognizant was conducted by Merittrac. I really don’t know how these Merittrac guys sleep at night, their papers are easy but time is a scarce commodity when it comes to aps conducted by them. That day after attending the aptitude test in the morning, I returned home and took a deep nap. When I woke up, I found an email in my inbox saying I cleared the aptitude test. And I was like, “wait, am I still sleeping or is it for real?” The next day it was technical interview. So I went to my friend Ramani’s place where we all (group of 5-7) preparing for technical round.

The next day, we reached CTS office in Mepz for technical round. We were made to assemble in an auditorium, a big one, with more than 700 people in it. I was worried, but still it was after a very long time, there was a slight spark of positive spirit that whispered inside me “Son, you can do it” Then I was separated from my friends as they called my name 1st for the panel interview. Waiting there for the Tech HR to call me, I approached a volunteer, and told him that I haven’t been called yet and I’ve been waiting for a long time. He asked me my panel number and said “you are next”, but with pity in his eyes he told me that the HR in my panel is so tough and he expects a lot. All 4 who attended technical round were rejected by that HR. That statement from him really freaked me out, but still with a confused mind I went inside. The HR was a guy with no sign of smile on his face. I sat in front of him answering all the questions that he fired on me, no matter how hard I tried to express myself with a best answer, he remained showing me a dissatisfied face. After answering a series of questions on OOPS, my project, Software lifecycle and testing. Finally he smiled indicating that I did well. That small moment told me right there, that I am selected. I felt like I got placed, I shook my hand hard with him to show that I am confident. Walked away from him, with boldness in my walk and my heart filled with some meaningless joy. I was waiting in the hall and some volunteer walked in, informed me that I got selected in tech interview. Next was HR, it was a lady, as soon as I reached near her, she pointing her hands towards me, and I grabbed her hands and shook it. Only then I realized that she wasn’t pointing her hand towards me for a handshake but was actually informing me to take my seat pointing her hands at the chair. Lol
She asked me the usual HR questions, and I did pretty well. I left CTS with my friends with happiness and confidence that we would definitely get selected. And guess what, we all got selected. The next day I received an email confirming that I got shot listed. After a year of struggle, finally I got a job in a company in which my dad wanted me to join. And this is my pursuit of happiness.

Paypal India - Bank withdrawal issue resolved

Paypal after a struggle for more than 2 months finally settled up things with RBI and made arrangements for bank withdrawal to local Indian banks. Previously Paypal had promised its customer to restore bank withdrawal to be back to normal by March 3rd. And today i.e, on March 4th Paypal withdraw options comes with a form requesting for purpose code during withdrawal of money to Local Indian Banks. Experience of previous transfer to bank and reversals now its quite hard to believe that this time it would work fine. But still lets all hope for the best, and I just initiated withdrawal from my Paypal account to Local Bank, and as usual received a email from paypal promising that the money would be credited to my bank account by March 11th. Personal remittance is still a question even after all the time delay. Anyway for now I am atleast happy that things with online business is getting back to track. I will update regarding my withdrawal or anyother new regarding this issue later.

Swamy Nithyananda scandal video - Affair with an actress

I feel bad to post this news in my blog. Recently in SUN TV news a video had been released featuring Swamy Nithyanandha in which Nithyananda having sexual affair with an south Indian actress was confirmed. Its really hard to believe any Guru these days. The video clearly explains that Nithyananda is a fraud like most other spiritual culprits, also the video shows Nithyanandha taking drugs and sleeping with the actress. Already there were several news regarding Nithyananda charging too much for spiritual retreat and  camps. Now the recent video had caused a terrible heart break to most of his followers. Its high time people stop believing in such fraud people anymore.

A Visit to Thirumala Tirupathi

2009 had been a long year with hectic moments. Many people advised me to visit Lord Venkatesh in Tirupathi. And inspite of tight schedule, I made arrangements to go to Tirupathi with my family. Started from my home at Saturday morning. "Lord who brings positive changes in life - Lord Venkateshwara" is a very famous quote that most people says. Also Tirupathi is one of the important place in India to which even many people from other countries visit. In my journey, me, and my family started to Tirupathi on Saturday morning 9'o clock, we reached there at 2'o clock in the afternoon. After resting for an hour in a Lodge in Tirupathi, we started at 3PM from lodge to temple. The temple was very crowded and we went on a special queue (you pay more, you get to see lord soon :P) But even in the special queue was so long, and it took us 4 long hours to finally see the God. Waiting in queue was so hectic, but finally after reaching the inside of the temple and seeing Lord Venkateshwara finally it was very blissful. Now after seeing lord and placing all the requests to him, it was time to make contribution to God. And even to do that we were waiting on a long queue. Apart from the temple visit there are also several parks and places to be visited in Tirupathi. Ive grabbed few shots of the places in Tirupathi, and i've posted them here,.

Paypal issue in India, withdrawal to bank still delayed

Paypal was reliable, but after the collision with the RBI, paypal is completely for more than a month now starting from Jan 2010. Now recently paypal sent a email to all its users regarding the issue between Reserve bank of India and Paypal is getting settled, also the email further said that withdrawal of credits from Paypal account to local banks in India would be possible from March 1st, 2010. But the Paypal account holders still haven't got any emails from Paypal regarding credit withdrawal to bank. It seems according to Reserve bank of India, to use paypal, the users must fill up a form consists of user details, PAN number, and also submit a DD of Rs.250 in order to convert money and transfer from Paypal to local banks in India. Paypal promised that a detailed mail regarding these process would be sent to the paypal acc holders on March 1st. But no emails regarding this had been posted till now. Probably this issue might be resolved by March 3rd. And it might take till 6th March to initiate the transactions. Anyway now there is no other options for us other than keeping our fingers crossed and hoping for the best.

Avatar - A Must learn movie

I'm just typing this review immediately after watching the avatar movie. The movie is God damn great, I don't have words to describe about the movie. Although there are several awesome things in this movie, like Animation CG effects, love, stunts, thrill, story. The combination of all all the mentioned things with a great message is where the movie rules. The theme music of Avatar is one of a kind theme. The affection and care towards mother nature is a very essential message to spread out now at this time, because now we are in the verge of loosing our mother. This movie may seem like a movie for 12yr olds, but trust me the movie has to be watched by all of us and understand, what life on this planet all about. It may appear that living with nature in the forest among trees is not possible at a 'Computer age' that we live in, but this movie makes the views realize that it would be better if we go back to be how we were rather than being how we are. The balance of our planet is breaking down rapidly, and the existence of human race is threatened by global warming, climatic change, bankruptcies, exhausted resources and diversity among people themselves. And the movie Avatar is lesson to be learned by us.

Corporates are the breeding ground for Ass holes

World outside is very hard if you try to be a nice guy, particularly if you are working for corporates then its too damn hard to work out things. I don't have much experience, 2009 I completed my Bachelor's degree in Computer science from a reputed engineering college (SSN College of Engineering), been a little playful in my college days, came out without any arrears, and to add to it, it was recession time when i finished. I was visiting most of the software companies and looking out for a job, but I couldn't get one. And a couple of months later I found that I was becoming old without a job. So decided to take up any job. My first job was in a famous bpo, not much experienced, but still within a couple of month experience in the company I understood what BPO is exactly. In corporates, i.e, MNCs its really hard to go up the ladder even if you are a hard worker. Its all about how you behave with your team leader, smoking, boozing, and other things with higher official will get you what you want. Well, I tell you, life is God damn hard in the world filled with ass holes.